3 marriages - our Hindu marriage

1 love, 3 marriages and 6 wedding dresses does not sound that common. Maybe what is unique is part of us and our story, making it more special to us, as this is what matters.

Certainly, all relationships require a lot of understanding, communication, patience and flow mixed with fun. Sometimes it seems to me that our one requires even double of it ? different countries, continents, cultures and traditions. Many of them have a lot of things in common, even if initially not that obvious to see these similarities. Yet, differences are there too! And all of it makes it interesting, often very interesting. So is our marriages story! This time no tips nor recommendations. For a change, I hope just some fun reading instead!  

August 2018: We are sitting on “life changing sofa” in one of Bangalore hotels, finalizing our master plan. Not what we will have for dinner nor the next holiday destination. Life plan. In short: to get married, to start living together, to become a family. If you are undecided till date in your life, I can share with you offline address details of that “life changing sofa” as we called it, it worked magic for us! ? 

Draft of our plan was focused on getting married, rest life will show – let’s live the moment. Following initial exploration around documents and requirements done in July we have our draft plan ready. In nutshell: small civil marriage in India, followed by small church marriage in Poland. Two gatherings, yes – smaller ones too, for our family and close friends, making sure we do something both in India and Poland. Sounded not complicated, why to call it “master plan” in the first place. Maybe as it was a big step for us, important.

Actual planning and making things happen was left. Hmm, I guess that in it all I just didn’t understand one thing: my better half kept on saying that for civil marriage in India we do not really need guests from Poland, including my parents. And I kept on saying we need at least parents… first disconnect? Lack of understanding? Or maybe something more behind it?

August 2018: (it all happened across my 2 weeks visit in India) time to go to the civil marriages office in India to explore all that we need for us to get married. Crowded office, very crowded, I would say. Yes, I know – we are in India. Still, felt a lot of people around us. And tons of documents and papers everywhere. Meanwhile, I stop for a moment and think privacy, data protection… hmm… back to our plan, we came here to explore options, it isn’t audit time.

Subsequently, everything is clear now and we know which documents we need. My better half feels confident too. While we get to the car and I ask: “So where in this building our civil marriage will take place?” My better half gazes at me surprised: “What where? In the office that we have just visited.”

Silence… my silence… shock… Is my civil marriage going to take place in the middle of unlimited piles of documents and among all random people around us? Till date I imagined it differently. I am used to the way civil marriages are done in Poland: official ceremony. Meanwhile, I open my phone and quickly google “civil marriage in Poland” and show it to my better half. Now we understand… why he was saying guests from Poland are not needed and why I was believing that we need them with us. Therefore, from that day I called it “marriage at post office” if this helps you to imagine the place.

Just to clarify, my sadness wasn’t over. Always in the car. Low. Moody. All in one. Trying to talk to my better half even if difficult. Yes, I have never imagined our marriage at “post office only”. We are in India… and between little words I said I somehow mentioned Bollywood. Guess as the evening before me and our Nattu watched that Bollywood movie, Ok Jaanu, with a last scene: Hindu marriage, Bollywood style. Actress wearing that beautiful red lehenga.

My better half looks at my sad face in the car and says: “Bollywood? You want a Bollywood marriage? You will have it, we will have it.” ?? ❤️ Not one, not two. All together, we will have 3 marriages.

13th August 2018: We are back to civil marriage office signing the intention documents to marry. Our “window” to marry opens now. As the result, we have 3 months for it.  

Additionally, one more change: due to challenges with documents availability and signing in person requirement, we will do church marrriage also in India. So finally, we have decided on all the dates and places:

15th October 2018: Civil Marriage in India

16th October 2018: Church Marriage in India

17th October 2018: Hindu Marriage in India

3rd November 2018: Marriage Party in Poland

Church marriage

15th August 2018: Our 3 marriages shopping starts, we are 2 months apart… and I am leaving India in 4 days. To be back on 12th October, just before our marriage. Crazy? Maybe a bit, like us. My better half got officially promoted to Weddings Project Manager. As most of the events were taking place in India, it was on his shoulders to organize most of it. Yes, if you tell us you are going to marry in 1 year or 6 months, we will smile back saying “plenty of time” or rather “too much time”. 3 marriages can be easily organized in 2 months, plus 6 dresses. Let’s not forget that. But that’s a topic for a next blog. Why 6 dresses… ? and which ones! ❤️

Moments that matter, matter till the end.

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