Motherhood is a blessing. When a baby is born, so is a mother. It is a moment of mother’s birth and person’s rebirth. It is a significant identity shift, one of the most remarkable physical and psychological changes a woman can ever experience. A transition between holding on to the past self and lifestyle and starting a new beginning.
With all the focus on the baby, sometimes woman’s identity change is left somewhere aside, maybe kept as priority two. In this reality: how to rediscover yourself, how to remake yourself into a new version, the version of M.O.M. And not stopping here, how to continue to shine and grow.
Do you know what is beautiful about fairy tales? That even if we grow old, we like to believe in them as they are magical. And so should be motherhood: down to earth, magical and focused on the small steps growth. What is important, it is not only the baby who will change day by day, but it is about growing together.
Motherhood is a blessing that facilitates self-growth.
It is often said that with babies time flies really fast. Witnessing their monthly and annual growth, one can see how much ‘a little creature’ is able to learn and at what speed! What is sometimes forgotten is the inner need of women to continue to develop, experience new things and enjoy what they love. All of that, in the limited time that is left during the days (or nights!), often very unstructured or interrupted. Also for me now: when I write this post.
What is essential for me is to ensure that I continue to do something beyond family matters. Something that is more mine, a bit challenging – taking me out of the comfort zone again. Even initial leave isn’t a holiday (do you remember my previous post?). Our mind, used to exercising, needs it during all phases of our life. And it isn’t important if during the day it is 20 minutes or 2 hours that one manages to organize for self. Everything counts!
Not only for mothers!
- Dedicate daily some time for your personal growth (don’t worry how long)
- Begin with things you love doing
- Start giving yourself small challenges
- Try to allocate a target date for each challenge (be gentle with yourself)
- Move to the ‘challenges-dreams’ zone (you can do that too!)
- Celebrate your smaller and bigger achievements
- Talk about them to your baby, she/he will listen to you for sure ?
You think it is too much? I often feel so too. You are not alone with such emotions and time constrains. How about reading 5 pages of a book today? Maybe tomorrow you will be lucky to read 7. How about listening to some webinar or online learning talk show? If needed, you can always pause and restart again. And if successful, take next steps. Maybe you wanted to acquire some new skills: learn a new language, complete a course, start some initiative. From small to big. So that you can grow together with your little one/s.
MOTHERHOOD – MY GROWTH
What are my growth challenges? I keep on inventing something new all the time.
Initial ‘bet’ with My Better Half was for me to fit in my golden marriage dress within 6 months. In summary: it took me 10 days. Then it was books and back to yoga. With no real physical exercises, I volunteered and I run in Our Bigger Angel‘s school parents run competition. I didn’t win but I understood where I am. In mid December last year I was ready to start this blog, with all the work behind the scenes (nearly 2 months) and plenty of new learning. Then I challenged myself to make it to stand on the hands, at least for a bit. Made it. In between all the DIY projects that I do as self-learner. Sometimes redoing at nights as something didn’t work well. Now I want to challenge myself on Hindi. I feel I didn’t focus enough.
Don’t go through life,
Grow through life.
Yes, I struggle with time. I wish a day had more hours! So how do I manage to find some time for my self-growth? I try to do things during my ‘me time‘ or as a fun activity together with my girls. It helps me to balance family time and to dedicate myself some alone time, especially when I need more focus. I also ‘hide’ when I need to work with stapler, pins, scissors and other fancy tools – too attractive for Our Little One!
Involving children in the activities that help you enrich your skills and potential is powerful. While you can learn something new, babies or kids can receive a lot of triggers for sensory stimulation, inspiration and in all of this – a lot of fun. When I do yoga, Our Little One is there on the mat with me, usually trying to do some of her poses or checking if all is fine with me ? And when I work on the new recipe or DIY project, Our Bigger Angel is usually with me. Proudly, we can see her cooking a lot on her own now or stitching using the sewing machine.
Simply, my inner need is to grow. Together with my daughters.
LET’S GET SPECIFIC!
Motherhood initiated a new phase in my life:
- family first
- mastery of patience ?
- home-made products (made with heart) are irreplaceable
- appreciate more ‘me time’, no matter its timing
Let’s keep a side my yoga this time! Maybe some of you know already that I love DIY!
In fact, DIY has been my passion for a while now. Of course during pregnancy all DIY ideas bloomed! All possible ideas for ‘baby’s nest’: pillows, bolsters, bed-sheets, mattress, quilts, blankets, garlands, sleeping bags, crib bumper / protector, among many. Latest one: busy board. I will share some more details in the future posts.
Additionally, since I moved to India I started to cook more and more. It isn’t about quick cooking for one person any more! Or no parents living nearby excuse! ? Still, my mom and my sister are a great source of local – home taste – recipes for me! And My Better Half keeps on completing our cooking with all possible ‘Indian Masterchef’ dishes variations!
Since we are in mango season in India now, my recent production is… mango jam! Recently Our Bigger Angel joined my forces and makes it together with me. Many jars ready now!
a. we will enjoy them after mango season (if they last!)
b. I hope some will be left for “export” to Poland ?
Nothing easier than a super healthy and home-made mango jar! Just see below.
MANGO JAM – 3 INGREDIENTS
- mature mangoes
Peel mangoes and chop them nicely into small pieces. For 2-3 kg of mangoes I add one apple, also cut into small pieces. Apple is a great substitute for pectin which thickens the jam. Once your cutting is over, put all into big pan or pot, add water so that it doesn’t burn and cook for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Once jam’s consistency is more jelly, it is ready! Then two options: ready to eat (keep it in the fridge) or vacuum close the jar (by boiling the jar with the jam in the pot with a small cloth kept inside for 30 min to 1 hour) so that it can be stored for winter (or few months!). Enjoy!!!
Important: there is no sugar. Sugar is not needed. Mature mangoes are really sweet and all fruits have natural sugar already. This is healthy diet. As I say: sugary jams are available in shops so why to copy!
Many projects, many hours, some reworks but plenty of joy and satisfaction. And especially great learning for me, always trying to do something more complicated or new. Out of the comfort zone, to grow! And guess what, Our Bigger Angel did lately her first skirt for her little sister! And now she is preparing family lunches or dinners all on her own!
”Bloom where you are. Bloom despite the weeds and grow tall and beautiful anyways. Bloom where you are even if you wish you were elsewhere. Take in all of the light when the sun is shining and know that the rain is necessary when it’s not. Know that everything you need to bloom is right inside you – you already have the strength and capability to grow. Nourish your body and take care of your mind. Keep learning and growing. Let your true colors shine. Bloom.”Nikki Banas / Walk the Earth
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Moments that matter, no matter growth level.